A small nod from your body saying,
Hey, Mel, I want you to know that I recognize the fact that you are trying so fucking hard and even dragged your ass downstairs for a workout after spending the day volunteering and hanging out with family. I know you wanted to plop down on your bed and watch Reality Bites for the 90th time with Josh, and reminisce about college which will make you start crying and talking about how thin you were back then and you didn't even know it because you were so busy thinking about the body you didn't have (and the irony will be lost on you that this is exactly what you're doing right now and you may have more regrets 10 years from now, idiot). But instead you pushed yourself to go downstairs and do this workout--not even forgoing the 10 minute run which only burned a measly 61 calories even though you were gasping for breath, pushing yourself to run 1.5 miles in that time. So...Mel, I'm proud of you. I'll even burn off a pound as a reward for all your hard work this week.But no, my body after losing a half pound this week told me tonight that I put on a pound. Making that a half pound gain.
Tomorrow the twins are getting donuts for breakfast as a special treat due to a total goat rodeo about donuts at the volunteer site (we do volunteer work on Christmas because...well...we're Jews). And I'm debating whether or not I have the resolve to go with them to the shop and not get anything for myself. Or whether it's better to stay home and grit my teeth and use that time to do a massive hour long run. This is the part that really sucks--missing out on the fun time because I don't trust myself to have will power (and the sad part is that I DON'T EVEN LIKE DONUTS. But I will eat them if they're in front of me just because I have no ability to see other people enjoying something and not partake). It's sort of damned if I go and damned if I stay home.
Okay, had to get that out of my system pre-shower. And now I am off to clean up, watch Reality Bites, have a good cry, treat myself to decaf coffee, and try not to think about the fact that I have a chocolate bar in the pantry because my self-esteem really doesn't need that tonight.
Sweetie, I love you. You are doing a great job and I'm so proud of you. I know, absolutely know, that the work you are doing is going to pay off. Sometimes it takes a little longer for that work to be reflected in the number on the scale. Keep up the good work!!
ReplyDeleteHey Mel!
ReplyDeleteI know isn't crazy that you can bust your butt all week and not eat anything that you know you really want and still not see much in the weight loss department. It will come off. I promise. I've been working on it for a year now, and I am about 20 pounds-ish from my goal. Try not getting on the scale everyday. I only do it on Monday mornings ( because Mondays alrealy suck ; ) ) Its better to keep track of your weight loss trend, as it can say something diffrent 5 minutes after you get off. Hang in there!
Mel good on you for all the effort. Can I make a suggestion? It's something after 20 years of weighing myself I've come to realise. Walk away from the scales. Instead use measurements as your guide. Use the scales maybe every month or so rather than weighing every day. Just a thought. And keep going x
ReplyDeleteYou know what they say. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Like so many things in life, right? :)
ReplyDeleteYay, another fitness blog from someone who isn't a personal trainer!
ReplyDeleteI have the same sentiment regarding the weight loss, but at least from experience with my own body (at least, pre-IF), it sort of thinks about weight loss for the first couple of weeks or so and then, provided I stick to a workout routine, weight does start chipping off. But if I keep slacking off and then re-starting, my body stays stuck in that "thinking about it" mode. Frustrating.